


License to Party

by CaesiumDressing



Series: Party Around the Galaxy [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, I REGRET NOTHING, Other, Party, fun in the galaxy, whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaesiumDressing/pseuds/CaesiumDressing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the first successful party on the Finalizer Captain Phasma calls on PA-1239 and his squad to throw another party. The catch is they need to visit a party planet and requisition supplies. Our intrepid Stormtrooper Party Squad are to be sent on a diplomatic mission to show that the stuffed shirts in the First Order do know how to have fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet the Squad

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is a story that is related to "When We're Wasted" but I do not expect it to be explicit. I really loved the idea of PA-1279 being a member of a squad that were good at the party arts. I hope to finish it, but this is a WIP. Also, this will barely be canon compliant, so don't get too hung up on it. Have fun, I know I will.

It was barely 0900 when PA-1279’s comm beeped, waking him after less than three standard hours of sleep. There was to be another party aboard the Finalizer. He rolled over in his standard cot with a groan and shook DB-5732’s shoulder. The other man grunted and batted PA-1279’s arm away.

“Kriff off, Punch. I’m sleeping.” The still half asleep stormtrooper pulled a pillow over his head and tried to drift back to sleep.

“Beats, seriously. You won’t believe the message I got.” Punch said, still half asleep. He yawned into his hand. “There’s gonna be another party man.”

Beats removed the pillow from his head and rolled over to look at Punch. “What? You’ve gotta speak louder.”

“If you didn’t turn the headset up so loud you could probably hear me speaking normally,” Punch spat back.

“You bag of bantha shit, I had a pillow over my head. Don’t you ever question my hearing!” Beats said, turning red in the face. How many times did he need to tell Punch he didn’t have tinnitus before he stopped harping on his hearing.

“Yo, cool your thrusters bucketbrain, there’s going to be another party!” Punch smiled and waved the comm at Beats. Beats snatched it from Punch’s hand and brought it to his face.

“Stars! Really? I thought you were going to be sent down to reconditioning when Kylo Ren came looking for you last time.”

Punch clicked his tongue. “I told you, he just wanted my punch recipe.”

Beats looked at him over the comm. “You were as white as our armor when you came back. You didn’t talk for days.”

“Hey, you shut your mouth! I was just surprised, I wasn’t scared.” Punch replied, snatching the comm back.

“Whatever you say, pumpkinhead. I still can’t believe you gave him the recipe. That’s our secret man.” Beats sighed, lying back on his cot and folding his arms behind his head.

“You know what? Next time you have some giant hulking monster drag you into a interrogation room and threaten to rip the information from your mind, refuse and then come back to tell me how it goes.” Punch swung his legs over the edge of his cot and sat up, looking at the comm again still surprised. He set it back down on the trunk that served as a nightstand, stood, and stretched. 

“You’re getting up already?” Beats said, looking up from his cot at Punch.

“Yeah, I’m too excited to sleep. I’m also trying to figure out where the hell I’m going to get all the punch ingredients by tomorrow night.”

“Wait, it’s tomorrow?” Beats sat bolt upright on his cot, almost cracking his head on the bunk above him.

“Yeah. Apparently they decided to not give us the benefit of a few days notice.” Punch said, digging through a storage trunk that he’d pulled out from under his bed. He glanced at Beats’ face. “What do you look so startled by? You already have everything you need. Don’t you have the entire galactic library of music on your datapad?”

Beats looked at Punch, his face going red again and sputtered. “A whole galactic library’s worth of music doesn’t mean banthafodder if I don’t have a theme ready!” He stood up from his own cot and began to stalk across the room toward the crouched Punch, looking like he was ready to throttle him. “Stars! You are the most musically illiterate per-“ Beats was cut off as a stuffed bantha smacked him in the head, nearly knocking him over. It had been thrown by a disagreeable looking woman who had just sat up in the bunk above Beats’. Beats cowered.

SH-1173 had sat up in her bed and looked positively murderous. 

Beats started up at her wide eyed. He forced a smile onto his face and said in a tiny voice. “Good morning Sunny. We’ve been asked to throw another party.” Beats was not a small man, but he cowered from the woman on the bunk.

She grimaced. “I’m not awake enough to plan a party.”

“We only have until tomorrow night Sunny.” Punch said, barely looking up from his trunk. He’d been able to locate most of the flavor powders he needed, but he was still missing some key ingredients.

“Are you kriffing serious?!” she groaned. “It took me at least a week to locate all those light sticks last time. Where the hell am I going to get that many again?”

There was a chortling from the bunk above Punch’s. FL-7312 had woken up and was mischievously peering over her thin blanket. “Rumor has it…” she said, lowering her blanket enough that they could see her impish grin “General Hux is QUITE fond of emergency light sticks. Someone saw him lifting a bunch before he left last time. Maybe, if you’re real nice to him he’ll let you have some.”

Sunny looked over at her, lowering her eyebrows in confusion. “What would General Hux want with a handful of emergency lightsticks, Chatterbox?”

Chatterbox just giggled and lifted her datapad from the side shelf on her cot. She pulled out a stylus and began doodling absently. “Is there a theme?” she asked airily, clearly finished discussing Hux’s enjoyment of lightsticks.

“No!” Beats spat. “We’ve known about this for twenty minutes. We don’t even know what music we’ll be-“ Beats was cutoff as their comms all went off simultaneously. Everyone picked them up to read the message. 

“A mission? NOW?!” Beats huffed, looking incredulously. “Of all the times for us to be called to go off ship, it’s now?”

“But, Captain Phasma was the one that asked m…” Punch started, cutting himself off. His eyes widened. “We need to suppress a uprising on a planet that happens to be rich in the ingredients I need for my punch and general party supplies.”

Everyone looked at him and then back at their comms.

“Oh.” They said all at once.

Chatterbox squealed long and loud, her stylus whipping across her datapad. “I know! Plundering resources?! Pirates! Space pirates!” she squealed again and everyone covered their ears.

“If anything is going to deafen me Punch, it’s going to be Chatterbox.” Beats said, rubbing at his ear . “I can work with space pirates.” He said, setting aside his datapad to grab his body glove and shower caddy. “I’m gonna go get ready. When’s the briefing?”

“An hour. Everyone get ready, we have some plundering to do.” Punch said, grabbing his own toiletries and heading off to the ‘fresher leaving Sunny and Chatterbox to their own devices.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad is briefed on their mission and struggle with the non regulation uniforms provided by Captain Phasma.

An hour later the foursome had gathered in the hangar of the Finalizer. On the way down Chatterbox had shown the group a quick poster she’d drawn up and printed a few copies of. She had subtly slipped some under the doors of the more gossipy troopers on the ship. Hopefully the word would spread quickly. They were standing before Captain Phasma, all decked out in her chrome armor.

“I expect you got my message PA-1279?” she said, turning to the squad leader.

“Yes captain Phasma.” Punch responded.

“You are to suppress the uprising currently occurring on Zeltros. It appears as if the Resistance has set up a base on this planet.” Phasma stated.

“A military base on a party planet?” Beats said incredulously. 

“Yes, well, apparently the Zeltrons love fighting enough to have joined in the ‘righteous cause’ of the Resistance. They aren’t too keen on the First Order. Strict order isn’t exactly their way. I believe that your squad’s enthusiasm could win some support. You are to represent the ‘fun’ side of the First Order. This isn’t a combat mission. If you can, it’d be preferable if you’d win some Zeltron support for the Order.” Phasma said, somewhat uncomfortable with the mission plan.

“Ma’am, isn’t diplomacy the realm of officers?” Sunny said.

Phasma’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Unfortunately,” she started “the majority of our officers are less fun than falling into a trash compacter. You all are more familiar with fun in a way most of them are not. I believe, as your captain, that you are the best suited to this mission. You should also requisition supplies for the additional activities I’ve planned for tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am.” Punch said, nodding.

“To be frank, I’d appreciate it if you could make it as fun as the last one. It raised morale significantly. Dismissed.”

They all saluted and moved to the small shuttle provided to them. 

“Oh,” Phasma called, and they turned around. “I’ve provided some civilian clothes that will allow you to blend in better. It’s not in the best interest of the order that you wander around in your armor. It makes us look like we are looking for a fight, not seeking support for our cause.”

“Understood.” Punch responded, saluting again. They all climbed into the ship. 

Chatterbox was already handing out the civilian clothing Captain Phasma had provided to them. All were stamped with the first order insignia’s on their left breast. For the men, they were breezy black shirts, gossamer and soft. Truth be told, the only thing on them that was truly opaque were the insignias. The ladies were lucky enough to get shirts that weren't just shy of being made of mesh, but they did tie up just below the breasts, showing off the entire midriff. For all four of them there were also pants, tight as a body glove, and black boots that laced to their knees. 

Once they were dressed Sunny glanced around at all of them and began laughing like mad. 

“Stars! What have we done to deserve this?” She laughed long and loud, grimacing. She had generally only been seen out of her armor by her squad mates, and even then she was often wearing a body glove. This would have likely been the only time anyone had seen her midriff beyond the other female troopers in the shared showers. She wasn’t precisely shy, but having one’s belly exposed was generally a bad idea in combat.

Chatterbox was busy examining herself in the mirror. “I dunno Sunny, they’re kinda cute.” She said, turning around to grin at her squad mate. “I mean look at you. You’ve got an eight-pack. You’re shredded.” She giggled, and observed herself some more in the mirror posing like a model out of a magazine.

Sunny was staring down at her abdomen and flexing her aforementioned eight-pack. After a moment she let out a sigh, acquiescing. “An order is an order I suppose. We aren’t going there to fight anyway, I guess civilian clothing is necessary.”

Beats was picking at his shirt as well, grimacing and trying to figure out how exactly he was meant to wear it. Currently he was trying to smooth out the wrinkles in the pants where he had tucked the shirt in but having little luck. Just as he was beginning to get red in the face and betraying his annoyance Punch tapped him on the shoulder, producing a diagram that had been packed with the clothes.

“It isn’t supposed to be tucked in Beats, you’re supposed to wear it loose, like me.”Punch gestured down at his own shirt, hanging loosely around his waist. Beats snorted.

“How messy,” he said, tugging the shirt out of his pants. “Won’t it get snagged on stuff?” he said, turning this way and that, trying to figure out how to keep the shirt from billowing around him. Punch shrugged.

“It’s the style, what the kriff can I say?” He glanced over his shoulder to where Chatterbox and Sunny were standing in the mirror. Chatterbox was trying to get Sunny to pout her lips and pop her hips; Sunny was struggling with the concept. 

“Everyone strap in, we’re going to take off.” The pilot called back to them. Sunny dragged Chatterbox away from the mirror and into the seats, strapping her in like a child. Chatterbox huffed and stared longingly at the mirror. Beats and Punch took their seats as well, Beats still struggling with the concept of a loose shirt. Sighing in frustration as he realized that the reason his buckle wouldn’t buckle was that there was fabric in the way. Punch snorted at his struggle.

Beats snapped his head up and gave Punch the most vicious look, daring him to laugh. Punch started laughing immediately and Beats went bright red, sputtering with fury. He whipped his head around, looking away and out of the transparisteel viewport determined to ignore Punch’s snickering. 

The small shuttle shuddered as it rose from the floor of the hangar and shortly they were on their way to the surface of Zeltos.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Punch and his squad come up with a plan.

The trip took about an hour. After they had adjusted to their new clothes and the awkwardness had let up somewhat Punch spoke.

“Alright guys. We need a plan.”

Beats looked up from his data pad and pulled a small set of listening speakers from his ears when he realized Punch was talking. 

“Well, you’re the one that really needs to find things for the party. You should probably come up with a plan.”

Sunny scoffed. “I also need to acquire some sort of lighting rig. I was thinking blue plastic to tape over our existing lighting rig and maybe some sort of fan to mimic a breeze.”

“Oh oh oh! Sunny, you should get some green ones too to make seafoam bits for the tops. And OH we also need some more emergency lightsticks. Maybe some yellow ones, we can put them in some shipping crates and crack a few so they look like treasure.” Chatterbox suggested, getting excited. There was a gleam in her eyes, like she knew a great secret. 

“What is with you and those damned emergency light sticks?” Sunny said, eying her suspiciously.

Chatterbox shrugged. “They were really popular last time. We need to make this time just as good. It was an order. Also, the more we throw awesome parties the more we get to do.” There was still that look in her eyes, there was something else but as much as Chatterbox liked gossip she seldom shared it. She always said the juiciest gossip was on a need to know basis and most people didn’t need to know.

“That’s a good idea.” Punch responded, nodding. “I don’t know what our budget is, but there was a wallet and a chit card in these pants,” he said pulling it out of his back pocket. “The note says there is no set limit, but to use it sparingly.”

“Where should we go first?” Sunny asked.

“Unfortunately I know nothing about the town we’re headed to,” Punch looked at his feet.

“We should plumb the locals for information. This is a diplomatic mission, right? Maybe we should head to the nearest cantina and buy some people drinks.” Beats said, looking pointedly at Chatterbox.

Chatterbox’s face lit up. “Yeah! That’s the best place to find information. Even if no one will talk directly to us, people have big mouths and often say things they shouldn't.” She licked her lips and grinned.

Punch nodded. “Right. So two things we need to gather information on. I need an apothecary and Sunny needs an art store of some sort. Maybe one focusing on performance supplies. “

Beats grunted. “I think we also may need a connection to the black market.”

Punch looked up, feigning innocence.

“Don’t give me that look you asshole. I brought that swill to life and I know the secret ingredient. You can’t pull that shit, and you can’t leave it out.”

Punch sighed. “Yeah, it’s never as good without it.”

Chatterbox leaned in to the two. “Oooo, tell me what the secret ingredient is. I swear I’ll never tell a soul.”

Punch shook his head. “Three people in the galaxy know that secret and that’s already one too many.”

“Who is number three?” Sunny asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Kylo Ren.” He deadpanned.

Chatterbox absolutely screamed with laughter. Sunny looked at her quizzically. Chatterbox just smiled and made a move like she was locking her lips closed. Sunny rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat.

The shuttle landed shakily and they unbuckled themselves. The pilot came back into the cabin.

“Alright, it’s 1130 hours. You need to be back here by 2000 hours. We need to leave by dark.” He handed them communicators. “We’ll be staying here. If the shit hits the fan tell us over the comms and get back here as fast as you can. We’ll prep the ship for an emergency take off.

The squad nodded and took the comms. They walked down the gangplank and were greeted by the heat of Zeltros. The whole planet was bathed in warmth and everywhere large broad signs in violent colors with playful fonts advertising various goods and services. A quick look at Chatterbox indicated that she was in heaven, Sunny looked disgusted, and Beats looked bewildered. Punch just shrugged.

“Let’s go.” He said, stepping forward confidently and walking towards the main part of town.


End file.
